Red Christmas

Bing sang of a white Christmas
Elvis sang of a Blue
Mariah Carrey botched the song
All I want for Christmas is you
But I digress, I trail away
There’s only one type of Christmas for my sled
When I drag the reindeer through the snow
I want my Christmas to be red
Red as the blood of my enemies
Flows from their cold, dead corpses
Wounded by knives and guns
Trampled alive by horses
I’m really not a petty man
I’m usually not one for revenge
But vengeance is cold, and so is the winter
And so I cry for amends
Red Christmas, white or blue
It seems so patriotic
To hack you up with a clever
While I’m laughing so psychotic
So on dancer, on Prantzer,
On cupid and blitzen
Trample their hides and tear the meat off their bones
As though they were a bucket of chicken
A jolly old soul even Santa knows
A red Christmas is the best
Why do you think he wears that suit?
To hide the blood stains on his vest!