tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-25485883234273209072023-11-15T08:10:51.351-08:00Geeky PoetryPoetry written for geeks, by geeks.Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.comBlogger9125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-83483481643269381232016-12-17T15:14:00.001-08:002016-12-17T15:14:02.917-08:00Red ChristmasBing sang of a white Christmas<br />
Elvis sang of a Blue<br />
Mariah Carrey botched the song<br />
All I want for Christmas is you<br />
But I digress, I trail away<br />
There’s only one type of Christmas for my sled<br />
When I drag the reindeer through the snow<br />
I want my Christmas to be red<br />
Red as the blood of my enemies<br />
Flows from their cold, dead corpses<br />
Wounded by knives and guns<br />
Trampled alive by horses<br />
I’m really not a petty man<br />
I’m usually not one for revenge<br />
But vengeance is cold, and so is the winter<br />
And so I cry for amends<br />
Red Christmas, white or blue<br />
It seems so patriotic<br />
To hack you up with a clever<br />
While I’m laughing so psychotic<br />
So on dancer, on Prantzer,<br />
On cupid and blitzen<br />
Trample their hides and tear the meat off their bones<br />
As though they were a bucket of chicken<br />
A jolly old soul even Santa knows<br />
A red Christmas is the best<br />
Why do you think he wears that suit?<br />
To hide the blood stains on his vest!Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-57198938976653707902012-04-12T20:01:00.001-07:002012-04-12T20:01:40.618-07:00Robots, Huzzah!<div><p>Here comes the Robots,<br>
Huzzah! Huzzah!<br>
We celebrate your technology<br>
and hope you don't enslave us.</p>
<p>and if you enslave us,<br>
we celebrate your goodwilled nature<br>
and hope you don't assimilate us</p>
<p>and if you assimilate us,<br>
we celebrate our strides to perfection<br>
and hope you don't destroy us</p>
<p>and if you destroy us we....</p>
<p>Here comes the robots,<br>
Huzzah, Huzzah!</p>
</div>Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-75263187670164447542011-03-26T11:56:00.000-07:002011-03-26T12:09:20.161-07:00The World is Flat...The world is round<br />At least that's what they say<br />that's what the powers that be<br />would have us think.<br /><br />Or so the German's would have us believe.<br /><br />I know the Earth is flat,<br />I have truthiness on my side!<br />Oh, don't look at me like that -<br />Don't look at me and say,<br />Truthiness? That is so 2005<br />That is so last decade!<br />That is so, the Bush era!<br />No, truthiness is alive and well<br />and truthiness says the world is flat.<br /><br />The world is flat<br />and nothing the scientists<br />paid for by the liberal commies<br />who worship Satan and sacrifice babies<br />to the Flying Spaghetti monster,<br />nothing the Godless heathens<br />brought to you by an endowment for the arts<br />can say will convince me otherwise!<br />I don't care if people travel all across the globe!<br />Hell, I've traveled halfway across the world<br />and I ain't seen no damned curve.<br />Everything was flat over there just like it is here<br />because the world is flat!<br /><br />And yes, they have "pictures" of Earth<br />shot from space,<br />but we all know those were faked,<br />we all know we can never leave<br />God's green Earth<br />We all know that the moon landing was a hoax<br />and the Hubble telescope is just an elaborate prank<br />and a way for NASA to line their pockets -<br />but that's another rant<br />another conspiracy theory<br />for another day<br /><br />The world is flat<br />and nothing you can say<br />will ever change my mind.Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-16501922165409481412010-07-25T12:45:00.000-07:002010-07-25T12:51:48.625-07:00Ode to a Civil WarCue the Gregorian chants<br />And the twelve year old boy soprano<br />"Don't let the eyes of sadness<br />Reflect on your inner soul."<br /><br />Ironman killed Captain America.<br />No, not directly,<br />No, he didn't pull the trigger<br />Tony Stark did not shoot the Cap<br />But he killed Captain America<br />through orders or bribes or covert forces<br />S.H.E.I.L.D could not put up with<br />Captain America's dissidence during.<br />The fiasco, the fascism,<br />The superhuman registration act<br />Legislating the safety of friends and relatives and loved ones<br />in the name of public safety,<br />like so many patriot acts,<br />or mutant registration projects.<br /><br />What would DC say?<br />What would Superman and Batman<br />and even Lois Lane say?<br />Would they fight with Captain America?<br />Would they fight with Iron Man?<br />Would they stand on the sidelines<br />Like the X-Men?<br />Would Superman stay on the side of Justice and law?<br />Would Batman go rouge?<br />Would Lois Lane see the whole thing,<br />as just another "big scoop?"<br /><br />Oh Civil War<br />Oh Speedball or Penance<br />or whatever the hell you call yourself now.<br />Oh, divider of friends, comrades, families, and spouses.<br />Mr Fantastic, Sue Storm,<br />Where are your children?<br />After the rumble,<br />Will you pick each other up<br />And drive to the sitters<br />Or maybe have a romantic dinner,<br />and perhaps the best make-up sex ever?<br />Or is Reed sleeping on the couch tonight?Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-5760181674280529872010-05-01T16:44:00.000-07:002010-05-01T16:55:09.827-07:00If the twitters and facebooks<br />and youtubes and diggs and even myspaces<br />flow out of the series of tubes,<br />would they be flushed away,<br />forever lost?<br /><br />If the internets is indeed<br />a series of tubes<br />if the backbone breaks,<br />and data leaks out<br />like sewage from a drainage pipe.<br /><br />If we loose our data, or is it datum<br />and our ability to play WOW<br />and our ability to watch The Guild<br /><br />If we can't access corporate email,<br />your boss wants you to work late<br />free cookies in the kitchen<br />time for us to "tighten our belts."<br /><br />and craigslist postings,<br />help wanted<br />Bike for sale<br />M4MFF<br /><br />If all our data (or is it datum?),<br />flowed from the tube<br />into the real world,<br />into the ground, the Earth<br />would it contaminate our drinking water?Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-80857871073085364492010-04-09T17:48:00.001-07:002010-04-09T17:48:31.418-07:00Of Zombies and Sarah PalinRun run, run to Alaska!<br />The zombie apocalypse is here! Jump in your warthog before sarg uses you as a human shield! Hurry, before it’s too late! The zombies want Brians! Bri----ans.<br /><br />Run, Run, Run to Alaska!<br />Will the freeways be a tasty bottleneck? Will you make it through Canada before they close the borders? And will the cold keep the zombies away? Will their zero body heat trump their desire for your testy flesh? And brains?<br /><br />Run Run, Run to Alaska!<br />You’re almost there! Don’t stop, don’t stop! Double tap but don’t stop. Don’t stop.<br /><br />Run Run, Run to Alaska!<br />There’s Sarah Palin sitting on her front porch. She invites you in. Something feels wrong, but how can you resist the chance to see Russia from her kitchen window?<br /><br />Moooooaning. Moooooooaning. <br />Palin’s a zombie! Palin’s a zombie!<br />Palin’s a gun toting, right winged, carnivorous zombie! <br />Well, I guess its not all bad. Her IQ just shot up 20 points.<br /><br />Moaoooning, Mooooooaning<br />Palin aims her rifle,<br />“You betcha!” She shrieks, “You betcha!” <br />Pit bull with lipstick grin and a shot gun at your head.<br /><br />BLAM! <br />Oh, what providence<br />Oh, what Deus Ex Machina!<br />Cheney’s been hunting quail again!<br />Palin’s zombified head dangles<br />The would be VP slain by the former VP.<br />And I live to survive the undead.<br />But the zombies, they’re in Alaska!<br /><br />Run Run, Run to Siberia<br />Run Run, Run to Mt Everest<br />Run Run, Run to Antartica!Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-8566573569089460662010-04-09T13:50:00.000-07:002010-04-11T14:53:49.479-07:00Every OS Sucks!Spinning wheels, rotating hour glasses<br />Are you both the work of demons?<br />Are you both Satan's pride?<br />You sit there and mock me<br />My deadline draws closer and closer,<br />And yet, there you are,<br />Still spinning, still rotating,<br /><br />Still it makes me wonder if you,<br />if your OS,<br />is sentient,<br />and why you feel the need<br />to make me wait.<br />Do I not spend enough time with you?<br />Impossible!<br />I spend most of my waking hours with you,<br />or at least one of your kind.<br />But maybe that's it,<br />maybe you're jealous.<br />You sync with my blackberry,<br />you know its thoughts<br />you know how much time<br />I spend with her.<br /><br />Or maybe when you spin or rotate,<br />whatever the case may be,<br />maybe you're in a contest<br />The ultimate Mac vs PC<br />Who can stay busy longer?<br />Who can kill more time?<br />Who can be the least productive?<br />Jobs and Gates probably put you up to the task<br />As they sip wine together, secretly<br />laughing at us all,<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">You little peons, we control your lives!</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">We control your livelihood, your entertainment</span><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">We control your IV drip of information!</span><br /><br />But whatever reason you spin or rotate,<br />it always ends in a crash. In an hour's work lost,<br />It always ends with nothing.<br />Just a black screen.Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-66555703758913492602010-04-08T19:03:00.001-07:002010-04-08T21:53:43.785-07:00SpamSpam.<br />When I was a kid you were nothing more than a yummy meat. You and I met for breakfast a couple times a week. <br /><br />Spam.<br />In my teens, in the early 90s, you gained more meaning: you were not just a meat, you were a slang term, but not as we know you now. No, you were a rental cop – a mall security guard, a library bouncer. You did not carry a gun, like real cops. You were fake ham, not quite a pig.<br /><br />Spam.<br />Lovely spam, wonderful spam. Even now, I still wonder if half a bee must ipso facto half not be. And if one's mother really does smell of elder berries. But back in the mid 90s, I found you in music. A British choral arrangement sang your praises.<br /><br />Spam.<br />The late 90s came, and you became my bane. You became a flood of useless information, advertisements. Oh the inches you promise, oh the wonders. How many Nigerian princes can there possibly be? How much of their fortune can they really afford to part with? How many Granny Transsexuals "riding" horses can one actually view before one goes blind?<br /><br />Spam.<br />I still eat you as meat, if one can consider yourself meat. I still fry you with eggs and even eat you raw. I don't like pork, but I do like you. But I tell you this, dear spam, if you don't get away from my in box, I may storm the gates of Hormel and burn your factories down.Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2548588323427320907.post-1274299657253159972010-04-08T18:57:00.001-07:002010-04-08T18:57:04.637-07:00Testing. Tap tap tap.Aaron.j.edwardshttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08922460335170578555noreply@blogger.com0